Sunday, December 28, 2008
the memories
the memories are leaving me
the same way that you did...
slowly
and sometimes
quietly,
but then sometimes
violently
and i can barely stand when its done.
i'm surprised
but not fully.
i'm broken
almost completely.
my heart only beats
occasionally.
and my eyes want to stay closed
as much as possible.
because even three more minutes of the good times
can bring hope
to my lifeless body.
of course,
the bad memories are paralyzing,
and spirit breaking,
and when these times visit,
and stay longer than they should,
its then
that i have no hope
that happiness will ever return.
12/21/08
the vows
you couldn't even wait 'til
the death we will part
you jumped ahead a few years to the
you fell apart.
and the sickness and health
included in the deal
consisted of i'm sick-i drive you crazy
you're sick-you choose to be lazy.
to have and to hold
is now to ignore and be alone.
to honor and cherish?
well, two words, beautiful words at that,
really aren't a part of your vocabulary...
forsaking all others
ALL OTHERS
which wasn't something you should have lied about being able to do.
12/19/08
the death we will part
you jumped ahead a few years to the
you fell apart.
and the sickness and health
included in the deal
consisted of i'm sick-i drive you crazy
you're sick-you choose to be lazy.
to have and to hold
is now to ignore and be alone.
to honor and cherish?
well, two words, beautiful words at that,
really aren't a part of your vocabulary...
forsaking all others
ALL OTHERS
which wasn't something you should have lied about being able to do.
12/19/08
untitled...
i sit here and i can't quite grasp my thoughts
for they run through my mind so quickly
but leave little shards of themselves.
there is no doubt that they were there
because remnants of their rambunctious visit
are permanently nestled amongst my constant thoughts of you.
my haunting memories of the past
the frequent longing for things i can not have
and my never-ending doubts and questions
of what went wrong
and what should i do next?
will this confusing and unsettling disaster of unrest and questioning
never stop engulfing me?
11/18/08
for they run through my mind so quickly
but leave little shards of themselves.
there is no doubt that they were there
because remnants of their rambunctious visit
are permanently nestled amongst my constant thoughts of you.
my haunting memories of the past
the frequent longing for things i can not have
and my never-ending doubts and questions
of what went wrong
and what should i do next?
will this confusing and unsettling disaster of unrest and questioning
never stop engulfing me?
11/18/08
untitled
my heart is in pieces
and no matter how hard i try
i can't fit them back together.
every time i think i've succeeded
i find several loose chips haphazardly lying around
and it seems as if it would be easy
just to study then place the parts together
but each time i think i'm done
i find a sliver or 12
hidden amongst papers, pictures, and songs
and i'm back at square one again.
this puzzle is tiring me
getting more frustrating daily
and i'm beginning to think that my heart will never be whole again.
11/18/08
and no matter how hard i try
i can't fit them back together.
every time i think i've succeeded
i find several loose chips haphazardly lying around
and it seems as if it would be easy
just to study then place the parts together
but each time i think i'm done
i find a sliver or 12
hidden amongst papers, pictures, and songs
and i'm back at square one again.
this puzzle is tiring me
getting more frustrating daily
and i'm beginning to think that my heart will never be whole again.
11/18/08
Friday, December 26, 2008
my husband has died
after a long struggle with selfishness my husband died. he actually died a year ago but i forgot my blogspot log-in. thanks to a friend i was able to get back in to inform all the non-existant readers of my 3 posts that my husband has passed away...i'm sure you'll all be able to sleep well tonight. God Bless!